To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
