She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
