Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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