Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
