becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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