becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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