youre lurking in front of me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
