It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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