I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
