He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
