fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
