Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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