Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
