I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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