Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
babies were throwing up all over the place
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
