it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
