I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
