so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
