Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
