You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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