I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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