apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
