Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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