You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think your dad took our porno
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
