Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
