she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
