You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
