i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize