Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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