I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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