At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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