what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
