I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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