I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
