let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
