Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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