I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
