Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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