from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
