Who wears a wallet chain?!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
