Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
