Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
