I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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