i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
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I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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