How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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