It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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