i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
