Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm like, not good at living.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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