Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
