I have demons in me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
