high people should be assigned attendants
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
