"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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