Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
