just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
