I hope mine doesn't look like that
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I deserve this hangover.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
