I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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