yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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