Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
