Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
