stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.