You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?